chimericalclaw | open post

[There's a hesitation in the way he glances at Tsuna, like he can hardly believe the request worked. At least for now.]

I wish I knew, [he remarks, no attempt to mask his bitterness as he stoops down to pick up his pen.] Trying to seclude myself is almost as dangerous. The best I can do seems to be keeping things short.

[He can't afford to—

Stop thinking. Stop thinking. Stop thinking.

He stands, letting out a slow breath and attempting to empty his mind. For someone who overthinks everything, this is immensely difficult.]

I just have to keep it together until it's satisfied...

Is that what you've been doing the whole time?

[Oh whoops. He didn't mean to ask a question. But of course, now that the door's open...]

Wouldn't it also be easier to just. Go along with it? Instead of fighting, I mean.

[His jaw clenches and he snaps his notebook shut; so much for that. The truth claws at his insides but he tries to resist. To find a way to satisfy the conditions while still—]

That's easy to say... for someone who never has to lie.

[The thought of using his commanding magic to cut the interaction short only sends another spike of static through the base of his skull; he takes in a sharp breath through his nose.]

Don't.

[Tsune shrugs, a slightly odd expression appearing on his face as his brow furrows.]

But...I have to lie all the time.

[Maybe not here. Here he can be a little more relaxed with the truth. But back home? There's a lot he'd rather not get out. Even if he's learned the dangers of holding back information.]

[Altius's own expression twists unpleasantly. For as quickly as the boy had offered the idea—perhaps he'd simply been fooled by the man's pleasant exterior.

Unfortunately, he has to change that perception now. At least somewhat.]

Then you should understand.

I mean, yeah. I get it.

But also, I know that's not good to try to hold back information. That can end up hurting to.

You don't... [He stiffens as the consequences of holding back and going along both come to mind. If he continues that line of thought it's inevitable. Damn it.] Ugh—

[Another crackle, a flinch. Keep it contained. You're stronger than this, Altius, this place won't break you after everything you've done and been through—]

They've made it literal, [he grits through his teeth.]

Y-yeah. I can kinda see that.

[He sighs.]

But maybe that means you have to say something. You. You shouldn't have to keep hurting yourself like this.

The danger... is too much.

[Even saying that is dangerous by itself, for the possible questions that might arise, spoken or not—but the certainty that it's the only way to keep his power under control, to stave off the invisible hand that's tearing away his willpower, has settled in him like dread.

He takes a step back, but only one. He can't retreat; his legs are like lead, anchored by the need to confess.]

You have to leave...

[But that's not going to happen, is it.]

Edited (just a single slash.) 2025-08-19 02:45 (UTC)

[Not until Tsuna knows that Altius is okay. That's just how it works, being the Sky.]

You keep saying that.

I mean, I've faced a lot of danger.

[Damn it. There's only so long he can be vague. Counters to the young man's responses immediately rise in his mind and he's forced to—]

It's not a danger to you if I speak openly.

[A weak, shaky breath of a laugh leaves him, bitter. It's safer for all of them, isn't it? That he finally has to be honest.]

I'm the only one who suffers from fulfilling their task.

In what way? Because it looks like it hurts to not say anything?

[Does it hurt to also say something? Because that seems like overkill. Unless it's...well. Another kind of hurt.]

[With a scowl, he mutters a low,] Damn you.

[But lashing out would only make all of this worse—make a scene where that's the last thing he wants. If he can just be careful about the words, about the topics...]

I lie to hide what sort of person I am. Without that... I lose everything I've ever built.

[Not the first time he's heard that. And so he smiles a little wryly, mostly because of his victory.

But hearing that, makes him sad.]

You don't think you're a good person.

[His voice is hard, a refutation of Tsuna's statement.]

It doesn't matter what I think.

[It's too late. The thought reaches him before he can blank it.]

People— [no.] don't put their trust in— [no.

Altius's back hits the nearby wall as he tries to keep his mouth shut and maintain his control, but he can feel himself approaching his limit rapidly, the power of this place crushing his willpower the way his grip tightens around his pen and notebook. A crack spreads out from where he's touched the surface, a sudden break that would threaten the integrity of the structure with one more like it.]

Murderers, [he whispers through his teeth.]

[His shoulders suddenly drop, like a pressure around his entire body has suddenly been released. The underlying sound of crackling static stops.]

[Tsuna isn't sure if he should reach out or not. If Altius needs his support or if he needs a moment to settle. And the word continues to hang in the air.

There's definitely a version of Tsuna would have freaked out over this. A Tsuna that hadn't really been exposed to the Vongola and everything that it is. It's a funny thing, belonging to the Mafia. How quickly your views change.]

My tutor's a hitman.

[He says it rather plainly.]

We don't really talk about it or his past a whole lot, but I know he's done stuff that I probably don't approve of.

But. I trust him.

So, it's not everyone.

[The gaze that meets Tsuna's when he looks up is full of disdain.]

You're a naive fool. It makes you too easy to use.

[Oh, if only he could leave it at that. But with the retort already come to mind, he has no choice. He does, however, keep his tone quiet. Bad enough that he has to confess this at all. If it's just the one hearing it, maybe he can do some sort of damage control...]

It's not the past. It's not something I've left behind. Nor is it anything someone else decided for me.

[That is something that people say about him often. And Tsuna would say that he's used to it, but there's still something of a flinch.]

But you had a reason, right?

[He wouldn't even necessarily take back the first statement. Tsuna shouldn't put his trust in those like him—or those like his tutor, most likely. Just for his own sake.]

Of course I have a reason.

[His demeanor gets no softer, though neither does his voice rise in volume.]

No one puts effort into anything for no reason, even if it's nothing more than curiosity or boredom. But what does that matter when I already know the myopic and hopeful idiots that take up so much of the world would never agree with it?

Edited (... singular reason. one of them.) 2025-09-04 03:37 (UTC)

[And yet, he's found himself in the position where inevitably, he has to.

Tsuna shrugs, being one of those myopic and hopeful idiots.]

It matters to me. Because even if I don't agree with it, I can at least try to understand.

And if I understand then maybe there's another way forward.

[He clicks his tongue against his teeth with something like an aggravated sigh. He'd expected no less, though.]

I am not interested in wasting my time arguing. Death is the kindest thing I could have given any of them and there is nothing you or anyone else can say to convince me otherwise.

[Tsuna cannot say that that makes him particularly happy. But it's also fairly clear that he's not done.]

But why?

Is whatever you have going on that bad?

[There's a vague annoyance in the furrow of one of his brows.]

The world is thoughtlessly cruel and the people in it are just the same. Now that I've come here, I've realized that's the case no matter what universe people come to exist in.

I disagree!

[There's a surprising amount of conviction in his voice when he says that.]

I feel like when you look at the world that way, you're really only looking at half the picture.

Because there's a lot of good stuff to.

[There's a level of forcefulness to his low reply, even if his posture is nearly that of a defeated man, shoulders sunk and head partly lowered.]

As I said.

[Tsuna proving himself to be one of those hopeful idiots he has no interest in arguing with.]

This is why I have to lie. Even if trust wasn't an issue, all of my days would be wasted by people like you and your lectures.

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