chimericalclaw | open post

Y-yeah. I can kinda see that.

[He sighs.]

But maybe that means you have to say something. You. You shouldn't have to keep hurting yourself like this.

The danger... is too much.

[Even saying that is dangerous by itself, for the possible questions that might arise, spoken or not—but the certainty that it's the only way to keep his power under control, to stave off the invisible hand that's tearing away his willpower, has settled in him like dread.

He takes a step back, but only one. He can't retreat; his legs are like lead, anchored by the need to confess.]

You have to leave...

[But that's not going to happen, is it.]

Edited (just a single slash.) 2025-08-19 02:45 (UTC)

[Not until Tsuna knows that Altius is okay. That's just how it works, being the Sky.]

You keep saying that.

I mean, I've faced a lot of danger.

[Damn it. There's only so long he can be vague. Counters to the young man's responses immediately rise in his mind and he's forced to—]

It's not a danger to you if I speak openly.

[A weak, shaky breath of a laugh leaves him, bitter. It's safer for all of them, isn't it? That he finally has to be honest.]

I'm the only one who suffers from fulfilling their task.

In what way? Because it looks like it hurts to not say anything?

[Does it hurt to also say something? Because that seems like overkill. Unless it's...well. Another kind of hurt.]

[With a scowl, he mutters a low,] Damn you.

[But lashing out would only make all of this worse—make a scene where that's the last thing he wants. If he can just be careful about the words, about the topics...]

I lie to hide what sort of person I am. Without that... I lose everything I've ever built.

[Not the first time he's heard that. And so he smiles a little wryly, mostly because of his victory.

But hearing that, makes him sad.]

You don't think you're a good person.

[His voice is hard, a refutation of Tsuna's statement.]

It doesn't matter what I think.

[It's too late. The thought reaches him before he can blank it.]

People— [no.] don't put their trust in— [no.

Altius's back hits the nearby wall as he tries to keep his mouth shut and maintain his control, but he can feel himself approaching his limit rapidly, the power of this place crushing his willpower the way his grip tightens around his pen and notebook. A crack spreads out from where he's touched the surface, a sudden break that would threaten the integrity of the structure with one more like it.]

Murderers, [he whispers through his teeth.]

[His shoulders suddenly drop, like a pressure around his entire body has suddenly been released. The underlying sound of crackling static stops.]

[Tsuna isn't sure if he should reach out or not. If Altius needs his support or if he needs a moment to settle. And the word continues to hang in the air.

There's definitely a version of Tsuna would have freaked out over this. A Tsuna that hadn't really been exposed to the Vongola and everything that it is. It's a funny thing, belonging to the Mafia. How quickly your views change.]

My tutor's a hitman.

[He says it rather plainly.]

We don't really talk about it or his past a whole lot, but I know he's done stuff that I probably don't approve of.

But. I trust him.

So, it's not everyone.

[The gaze that meets Tsuna's when he looks up is full of disdain.]

You're a naive fool. It makes you too easy to use.

[Oh, if only he could leave it at that. But with the retort already come to mind, he has no choice. He does, however, keep his tone quiet. Bad enough that he has to confess this at all. If it's just the one hearing it, maybe he can do some sort of damage control...]

It's not the past. It's not something I've left behind. Nor is it anything someone else decided for me.

[That is something that people say about him often. And Tsuna would say that he's used to it, but there's still something of a flinch.]

But you had a reason, right?

[He wouldn't even necessarily take back the first statement. Tsuna shouldn't put his trust in those like him—or those like his tutor, most likely. Just for his own sake.]

Of course I have a reason.

[His demeanor gets no softer, though neither does his voice rise in volume.]

No one puts effort into anything for no reason, even if it's nothing more than curiosity or boredom. But what does that matter when I already know the myopic and hopeful idiots that take up so much of the world would never agree with it?

Edited (... singular reason. one of them.) 2025-09-04 03:37 (UTC)

[And yet, he's found himself in the position where inevitably, he has to.

Tsuna shrugs, being one of those myopic and hopeful idiots.]

It matters to me. Because even if I don't agree with it, I can at least try to understand.

And if I understand then maybe there's another way forward.

[He clicks his tongue against his teeth with something like an aggravated sigh. He'd expected no less, though.]

I am not interested in wasting my time arguing. Death is the kindest thing I could have given any of them and there is nothing you or anyone else can say to convince me otherwise.

[Tsuna cannot say that that makes him particularly happy. But it's also fairly clear that he's not done.]

But why?

Is whatever you have going on that bad?

[There's a vague annoyance in the furrow of one of his brows.]

The world is thoughtlessly cruel and the people in it are just the same. Now that I've come here, I've realized that's the case no matter what universe people come to exist in.

I disagree!

[There's a surprising amount of conviction in his voice when he says that.]

I feel like when you look at the world that way, you're really only looking at half the picture.

Because there's a lot of good stuff to.

[There's a level of forcefulness to his low reply, even if his posture is nearly that of a defeated man, shoulders sunk and head partly lowered.]

As I said.

[Tsuna proving himself to be one of those hopeful idiots he has no interest in arguing with.]

This is why I have to lie. Even if trust wasn't an issue, all of my days would be wasted by people like you and your lectures.

Then I won't lecture. I don't think anyone really listens to me anyway.

[More often than not, he does have to let his fists do the talking.

Though people listen more than he thinks.]

I guess...it's just. I'm sorry you feel that way.

[And there's a lot of sincerity in that.]

[He lets out a long breath audibly, eyes turning elsewhere—though it seems almost more tired than annoyed. Even thoughts of telling (or threatening) Tsuna to keep all of this to himself prickle dangerously, so he lets the idea go. But maybe if he's lucky, the boy feels bad enough for Altius to do so anyway.

He hates the thought, though. Not Tsuna's sincerity in itself, but the fact that it's directed his way.]

Save your sympathy for the people who deserve it.

[He tucks his notebook and pen away, if just to have something to distract himself.]

They're more likely to listen to you than to my true thoughts.

[Tsuna probably won't say anything. Not unless this escalates.]

Maybe. But I don't know if they're the ones who need it right now.

It's not like I try and make a habit of any of this.

[The implication that he needs sympathy is... annoying, but apparently expressing that through the brief twist of his mouth is enough to satisfy the conditions of his sentencing.]

Of what, expressing your hopes and dreams? [There's a bit of sarcasm in the question, but just a tad.] I suppose you do tend to be rather quiet, don't you.

[When it comes down to it, he's surprised Sawada actually relented when he said he didn't want to argue. He narrows his eyes slightly, then:]

Are you really so eager to let people like me take advantage of you? Because that's what happens when you extend your efforts to those who've proven themselves untrustworthy.

[His hopes and dreams probably aren't much compared to other people. He just wants to live a happy, normal life with his friends. Though with the chaos that permeates his life, sometimes it feels distant. Or he needs to adjust his definition of normal.]

Are you really that determined to take advantage of me?

I've already said I trust a lot of untrustworthy people.

[A normal life. If only.]

You and whoever else I can convince, for whatever I can get out of you, [he admits, disgruntled with the necessity of the admission. He lets out a low noise before continuing.]

It's a wonder you're still alive, with that mindset.

Ain't that the truth.

[It truly is a wonder sometimes, how he's still in one piece.]

I won't let you get a lot though.

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